An interesting course of events has led to me this exact moment. These moments, as I like to call them ah ha moments are always ridiculously insightful. So here goes...
Awake my soul-I'll always be unsatisfied- if this is all I need why do I want more- and now my heart stumbles on things I don't know- my weakness I feel I must finally show-you got a gypsy soul to blame and you were born for leavin- take all the courage you have left- you know that you have seen this all before- it's like I know I know where I need to be but I just can't figure out...
Do you think it's coincidence that the lines from a few of my favorite songs i was listening to effortlessly flow together to spell out perfectly what I feel??? Or is that my brain telling my soul to dig deep and figure it out?
I want to feel alive again and not so dead inside. I go through the motions, but I want to feel again!!! I want to remember the days that I truly knew what it was to have the sand between my toes and the complete feeling of free! I fondly reminisce through music, some stories I read and faces I see on tv.
I moved back to Texas because I thought it was time to grow up and get serious. Honestly what does that mean? Instead of everyone telling me how/ what/ when/ where to do it- why doesn't anyone ask me what I want and how I'm going to achieve it.
I'm no different than anyone else with dreams and desires. Mine are just different, innovative, unconventional and well, out there. They involve all types and kinds of people, making a difference in the world, a new spin on an oldie but goodie.
I want to be passionate about something again. Challenged, mesmerized, completely caught up and swept away with my work.
I've probably touched on it before but as every day passes there is a feeling in my gut, so deep inside me, that I am bound for something so much greater than I know- it's downright scary. It's scary because I live in fear I will never find out what that is.
In fact, I almost didn't get to find out. I whole heartedly feel in the very depths of my soul that between the accident and getting fired in result, that this is my moment, the climax, my big ah ha moment to figure out exactly what my purpose in this life is.
And by god I'm going to do it. It's really that simple. I've lived my early adult life footloose and fancy free not giving a damn about anything but me and how much fun I can have.
I'm scared, but excited- the unknown and the potential and how ready I am to show this world who I am and what I have to offer.
I leave you with this-
Be not afraid of greatness: some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them.
William Shakespeare
07 August 2012
30 June 2012
We Don't Need No Education <--- Clearly We Do!
Growing up in Texas being instilled with mostly conservative ideals is frustrating as an adult because I think for myself. I left one extreme political environment and went to another. Best opportunity ever, you see the flip side of your views, and in my case completely changes the way you look at everything.
When you get to know people, I mean really get to know, understand, accept, embrace and so on, there is a bond formed. For me that means empathy, compassion. I respect all of my friends and their choices, political views, faith, etc because ultimately it is THEIR choice.
I'm so tired of the ignorance of my fellow people engaging in what are supposed to be intellectual conversations, and in the end not having any facts to bring to the table and resorting to ignorance. Our society is hurting us tremendously by bashing each party incessantly. What happened to "One Nation Under God" simply stated in our Pledge of Allegiance.
The sad part is, I don't understand why people don't take more time to educate themselves on current events and more about our government to help them form an opinion and think for themselves. It scares me to think of generations to come, and the state of our society if this apathy continues. One article a day, ten minutes. We are all connected to our phones anyway. Figure out what you support, what you don't, who the Speaker of the House is, the Attorney General, I don't care, just educate yourself so we can begin thinking for ourselves again! Figure out if you're big business or small business. And guess what? Stick to what you believe, when someone engages you in a political discussion, don't be afraid. State your idea and have the facts to back it up. That's how you learn. It doesn't have to resort to anger and obscenities.
Boy am I long winded. After all that, I have to say its been such a blessing to have left my comfort zone, and to become more worldly. The hard part is I'm stuck in the middle about a lot of things. I hope that one day a leader will rise who is grounded, understands all sides and can help all views meet in the middle. While some things will be easier than others, unite our country. It is so crucial for us to take care of what happens in our own country, it's like a family, it's all you've got. So before we take on the world, can we just take care of ourselves? I want to raise children in a country I have good faith in someday!
When you get to know people, I mean really get to know, understand, accept, embrace and so on, there is a bond formed. For me that means empathy, compassion. I respect all of my friends and their choices, political views, faith, etc because ultimately it is THEIR choice.
I'm so tired of the ignorance of my fellow people engaging in what are supposed to be intellectual conversations, and in the end not having any facts to bring to the table and resorting to ignorance. Our society is hurting us tremendously by bashing each party incessantly. What happened to "One Nation Under God" simply stated in our Pledge of Allegiance.
The sad part is, I don't understand why people don't take more time to educate themselves on current events and more about our government to help them form an opinion and think for themselves. It scares me to think of generations to come, and the state of our society if this apathy continues. One article a day, ten minutes. We are all connected to our phones anyway. Figure out what you support, what you don't, who the Speaker of the House is, the Attorney General, I don't care, just educate yourself so we can begin thinking for ourselves again! Figure out if you're big business or small business. And guess what? Stick to what you believe, when someone engages you in a political discussion, don't be afraid. State your idea and have the facts to back it up. That's how you learn. It doesn't have to resort to anger and obscenities.
Boy am I long winded. After all that, I have to say its been such a blessing to have left my comfort zone, and to become more worldly. The hard part is I'm stuck in the middle about a lot of things. I hope that one day a leader will rise who is grounded, understands all sides and can help all views meet in the middle. While some things will be easier than others, unite our country. It is so crucial for us to take care of what happens in our own country, it's like a family, it's all you've got. So before we take on the world, can we just take care of ourselves? I want to raise children in a country I have good faith in someday!
20 June 2012
What a day for a daydream...
Well unemployment is boring as ever... Went to a couple of staffing agencies, recruiting type places and for the life of me I don't understand how those people are always so rude. I mean I get it the people you often come across can be frustrating, but, if you work with people... Get your game face on. Seriously.
In other breaking news, I started a new book today, and can someone please explain to me why I can read five pages at six pm and take a two hour nap, but if I start reading at one am I'm up until three am??? Go figure.
I made up my bed when I woke up this morning for the first time probably since cabin inspection days on the cruise ship. Have to admit it felt nice. It's nice have some control over things in life even if it's the mundane daily chores. Optimism is key!
And lastly in my daily events I have decided to finally look into motivational speaking, and how to get started. Found a lot of very helpful info and wrote down a list of five short term goals to accomplish. Elaborate more tomorrow.
Watched The Perfect Getaway before I wrote this and now I've lost my train of thought... Crazy movie though!!!
Aloha.
In other breaking news, I started a new book today, and can someone please explain to me why I can read five pages at six pm and take a two hour nap, but if I start reading at one am I'm up until three am??? Go figure.
I made up my bed when I woke up this morning for the first time probably since cabin inspection days on the cruise ship. Have to admit it felt nice. It's nice have some control over things in life even if it's the mundane daily chores. Optimism is key!
And lastly in my daily events I have decided to finally look into motivational speaking, and how to get started. Found a lot of very helpful info and wrote down a list of five short term goals to accomplish. Elaborate more tomorrow.
Watched The Perfect Getaway before I wrote this and now I've lost my train of thought... Crazy movie though!!!
Aloha.
19 June 2012
Ba Ba Baby, You just Ain't Seen Nothin' Yet.
Okay, so this app is already dangerous. Lately, I've developed a case of the insomnia's... I call it my dear friend stress.
I am reluctant to say this, but in all earnest I am always amazed by my writing skills when I go back and read past blogs. No big surprise to myself, but it saddens me I only seem to tap into my creative side when there is large quantities of stress in my life.
I'm breaking the mold fellow bloggers, my thumbs are the gateway to my over active mind. And it makes sense I might be a tad more eloquent through writing down thoughts, I tend to think as I speak, and should probably look into a filter, although at 26 it's hard to teach me new tricks. I often wonder of being outspoken is detrimental... Hah, but OF COURSE it is... Oops.
Gypsy's seem to be a trend in my blogs, weird, since the only association I have with them are my ancestors, Disney movies, and that God Awful show on TLC. Strange.
Oh and by the slight chance that anyone actually does read my blog. I should go ahead and let you know, I no longer work on the cruise ship. Sorry to have left y'all hanging on the edge of your seat for over a year. In fact I have been back from Hawaii for a year now, and that bullshit I mentioned in a previous blog about being "normal" and the "real world"... My bad. Seriously, for Pete Sake you'd think I could pick up where I want and ease into things... Hocus Pocus I say. I have had one, two, four and half jobs in one year. Anddd I've pretty much hated them all. I'm broke, I live in an old farm house with a guy who I unwillingly share a bathroom with, (at least his GF would clean the house- they broke up) have student loan debt from college, that I haven't attended in five years, who if I don't pay on the hour... Dock my credit score. Oh and let's not forget the guy I live with is my on again off again boyfriend. Oh good, so this is the American Dream, goody. Don't even get me started on my exquisite family!
So in an unfortunate series of annoyingly irritating events, I started a new job, then lost both jobs. So I'm unemployed. Honest to god train wreck I swear. For three solid days I have been scouring google, Craig's List, Indeed, monster, city websites, staffing agencies, Texas workforce commission, and the friggin paper for SOME job NOT in Food & Beverage, Hospitality or Hotels that will compensate me for roughly $16-20 an hour. My friends, not a chance in hell.
My question is at 26, with no degree and a shit load, yes, I said it. Shit load of customer service and guest experience training, what the hell job am I supposed to find slash be qualified for?! This resume crap is out of hand too, do you KNOW how long winded I am, and just because I didn't complete coursework in public relations, doesn't mean I don't know how the fuck to do it. I mean SERIOUSLY doesn't anyone take a chance now a day. Live a little, take a bet on the loose cannon, I guarantee I'm good for it! I know what I'm capable of, It's not like I'm applying for CEO jobs. *deep breath* I seriously under estimate the citizens in our society though, I've seen what the are and aren't capable of for about ten years now. FACT: most people in the general public are well I'll let you fill in that blank.
All I'm really looking for out of a career is to help and serve other people. Gosh dang it, of I'm not just enthralled with humanity. Sad thing is I don't want to be a doctor, lawyer, teacher or most common jobs that come to mind. I like planning events, and guest speakers, being the woman in charge, motivating others to find their quirk and make it reality. I love to entertain, uplift and encourage. I want to make the world a better place by using my skill set, my humor, my love, by being me. Not who society and people tell me I should be and should do and should wear and and and. BORING. I've got a gift and so help me God this big ole world is gonna see it!
Boom.
I am reluctant to say this, but in all earnest I am always amazed by my writing skills when I go back and read past blogs. No big surprise to myself, but it saddens me I only seem to tap into my creative side when there is large quantities of stress in my life.
I'm breaking the mold fellow bloggers, my thumbs are the gateway to my over active mind. And it makes sense I might be a tad more eloquent through writing down thoughts, I tend to think as I speak, and should probably look into a filter, although at 26 it's hard to teach me new tricks. I often wonder of being outspoken is detrimental... Hah, but OF COURSE it is... Oops.
Gypsy's seem to be a trend in my blogs, weird, since the only association I have with them are my ancestors, Disney movies, and that God Awful show on TLC. Strange.
Oh and by the slight chance that anyone actually does read my blog. I should go ahead and let you know, I no longer work on the cruise ship. Sorry to have left y'all hanging on the edge of your seat for over a year. In fact I have been back from Hawaii for a year now, and that bullshit I mentioned in a previous blog about being "normal" and the "real world"... My bad. Seriously, for Pete Sake you'd think I could pick up where I want and ease into things... Hocus Pocus I say. I have had one, two, four and half jobs in one year. Anddd I've pretty much hated them all. I'm broke, I live in an old farm house with a guy who I unwillingly share a bathroom with, (at least his GF would clean the house- they broke up) have student loan debt from college, that I haven't attended in five years, who if I don't pay on the hour... Dock my credit score. Oh and let's not forget the guy I live with is my on again off again boyfriend. Oh good, so this is the American Dream, goody. Don't even get me started on my exquisite family!
So in an unfortunate series of annoyingly irritating events, I started a new job, then lost both jobs. So I'm unemployed. Honest to god train wreck I swear. For three solid days I have been scouring google, Craig's List, Indeed, monster, city websites, staffing agencies, Texas workforce commission, and the friggin paper for SOME job NOT in Food & Beverage, Hospitality or Hotels that will compensate me for roughly $16-20 an hour. My friends, not a chance in hell.
My question is at 26, with no degree and a shit load, yes, I said it. Shit load of customer service and guest experience training, what the hell job am I supposed to find slash be qualified for?! This resume crap is out of hand too, do you KNOW how long winded I am, and just because I didn't complete coursework in public relations, doesn't mean I don't know how the fuck to do it. I mean SERIOUSLY doesn't anyone take a chance now a day. Live a little, take a bet on the loose cannon, I guarantee I'm good for it! I know what I'm capable of, It's not like I'm applying for CEO jobs. *deep breath* I seriously under estimate the citizens in our society though, I've seen what the are and aren't capable of for about ten years now. FACT: most people in the general public are well I'll let you fill in that blank.
All I'm really looking for out of a career is to help and serve other people. Gosh dang it, of I'm not just enthralled with humanity. Sad thing is I don't want to be a doctor, lawyer, teacher or most common jobs that come to mind. I like planning events, and guest speakers, being the woman in charge, motivating others to find their quirk and make it reality. I love to entertain, uplift and encourage. I want to make the world a better place by using my skill set, my humor, my love, by being me. Not who society and people tell me I should be and should do and should wear and and and. BORING. I've got a gift and so help me God this big ole world is gonna see it!
Boom.
Third Times A Charm
And here we are again... If I would just break down and buy a laptop, I would be such a successful blogger. But my "burn the candle" gypsy like (not gross gypsy... Mysteriously attractive hygienic gypsy) lifestyle is no match for blogging commitment.
My cellphone contract was up recently and I was forced to make a life changing decision. What phone do I willingly want to be stuck with for another two years? Oh dear god, I can't handle the thought. After a horrifying year with the HTC EVO I was reluctant to count on Android. Figured I should jump on the IPhone bandwagon and show off Siri to both my friend and foe. So short version of the story. Buy all my phones from Best Buy because my sister works for Best Buy Mobile and blah blah blah. Sales guy talks me into the Galaxy Nexus II or some bs. Convinced me since I'm super original and "seem" really intelligent I shouldn't lower my standards to the IPhone. Whatever sure. Android to disappoint yet again, in one night I had 2500 contacts (I had copied them 6 times) and more widgets than woodchuck could chuck. I went back to the sales guy and said eff this... Clone me clown. And might I end that story with shamelessly admitting that I am O FFICIALLY obsessed with my White, IPhone 4s, 16g baby. Siri has her days. I love the IPhone because of its functionality. I don't have to read a textbook to figure it out. So addicted am I that I have decided to start blogging from my finally SMART PHONE.
And that my friends is a great day.
My cellphone contract was up recently and I was forced to make a life changing decision. What phone do I willingly want to be stuck with for another two years? Oh dear god, I can't handle the thought. After a horrifying year with the HTC EVO I was reluctant to count on Android. Figured I should jump on the IPhone bandwagon and show off Siri to both my friend and foe. So short version of the story. Buy all my phones from Best Buy because my sister works for Best Buy Mobile and blah blah blah. Sales guy talks me into the Galaxy Nexus II or some bs. Convinced me since I'm super original and "seem" really intelligent I shouldn't lower my standards to the IPhone. Whatever sure. Android to disappoint yet again, in one night I had 2500 contacts (I had copied them 6 times) and more widgets than woodchuck could chuck. I went back to the sales guy and said eff this... Clone me clown. And might I end that story with shamelessly admitting that I am O FFICIALLY obsessed with my White, IPhone 4s, 16g baby. Siri has her days. I love the IPhone because of its functionality. I don't have to read a textbook to figure it out. So addicted am I that I have decided to start blogging from my finally SMART PHONE.
And that my friends is a great day.
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